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SECTION I - Stop Checking Out!

The Train Wreck

 
Things will never be the same ...and truly, you don't want them to be!

Just last week, I found out that one of my friends has been separated from her husband for over six months. She had moved out because she had been experiencing something on an energetic level that was having a tormenting affect on her psyche.

Thinking herself to be in mid-life crisis, she tried anti-depressants. However, she had an undesirable allergic reaction to whatever she was given. So she decided to remain off all medication and get herself into counseling. In her work with a counselor, she began learning to take care of herself. And as she continued her work, she finally decided that, with her husband being so disinterested and despondent toward her in any and all ways, that to honor and love herself, she needed to move out. Her family (parents and such) all thought she was crazy, and held the view, “No wonder her poor husband is despondent toward her.”

About 4 months into the separation, her husband called and asked her to come over. Hearing a sense of urgency in his voice, she wondered what could possibly be so pressing, and why she was even going over there. He hadn't needed or wanted her for so long, and had been totally despondent toward her for more years than she cared to remember. But here she was, jumping to his call, as if he still cared about her.

Upon arriving, he informed her that he'd been seeing another woman for two years, and the woman’s husband had just caught them together in public and punched his lights out. Now, being afraid of losing his reputation and his job (he and the woman worked together in the same work place,) he was ‘fessing up.

Two years! He insisted that it was more of an emotional affair than physical - due to "getting it up & keeping it up" problems, quite likely related to his feelings of guilt. They had, nevertheless, had each other to connect with emotionally and to do things with for over two years. No wonder she was “last man out” in her own marriage! Her husband had allowed and sought out the other woman, and she invaded their marriage and was literally taking her husband’s attention from her!

My friend was blown away. She simply could not get her mind around such a bazaar betrayal. The fact that she had no knowledge of it -consciously - was mind-altering, as it should be. However, she did have knowledge of it - at a “cellular” level (and she later acknowledged this to me, upon further discussion). This phenomenon will be explained shortly in the first session of this course.

Today, two months later, she lovingly refers to the night that her husband got his lights punched out and fessed up about the affair as: "The Train Wreck." You may be wondering why she would be loving about it? How, you might be asking, did she come to view this event differently? That night, she eventually realized, was the night that a Train Wreck miraculously brought them back together again

Nothing is the same for the two of them ... and everything she'd ever wanted in her relationship with her husband is now occurring. New ground is being explored and new communication is being learned. We now have two willing partners standing in agreement for their marriage.

Train Wrecks throw everything and everybody off track and interrupt all mindless, hurtful activity ...and this is a good thing! I suspect that you may have purchased this course because there's been a Train Wreck in your marriage, and you are currently hoping that there is a way to get your marriage back on track. There is. And that's what this entire course is all about.

The personal work you are about to do, in combination with a support person and the power of MasterMinding, will immediately begin to transform you and your fear about your situation. It is this work that will energetically reach out over your situation, causing new connections to unfold for you and your spouse.

This is not a "get-it-all-fixed-quick" promise. This course is about you being willing and commited about doing the work that it will take: 1) to alter how you have previously participated in your marriage, and 2) to begin to use “high vibrational language” that will dissolve the hardened barriers between the two of you. Your hearts have been shut down, and we are going to open things up through new perspectives and getting deliberate about what we want and how we put the energy for it to occur in motion.

It's time to let go of limited ideas, memories and beliefs from the past - especially those having to do with it being more important to be "right," than loving and being loved.

When you feel defenseless, do not rush about trying to meet the situation head on with some outer action. Become quiet and work inwardly to attain an uplifted state of mind. Then observe circumstances as your "no" power of mind to cut off fear. When you no longer feel fearful, you are well on your way; you are well on your way to achieving successful results in what you had thought was an im'possible' situation.-Catherine Ponder

My MasterMind support for you . . .

In this moment, I am seeing for you that you are not defenseless, because the two of your spirits know perfectly how to deliver you through this, right now. All obstacles and barriers to the supremacy of spirit are now dissolved in this situation, quickly and in peace. The divine plan now manifests for the good of all concerned. Nothing is impossible with Infinite Intelligence, so I do not accept or see this as an impossible situation. With the visioning power of two people - two spirits - in agreement, the impossible now comes to pass in this situation.

SESSION 1 > The Physics of the Love Connection

This first session is pivotal for your understanding of what needs to happen right now ENERGETICALLY to stop your divorce from going forward, assuming, of course, that this is what you truly want. In it you will be learning how to create with your mate a love-filled, happy, harmonious life.

This session's exercise will build the foundational piece for all else that will follow. Be sure not to skip over the exercise or the thought expander sections of this session. This entire course is built upon the science of what happens energetically in relationships and why things go sideways, repeatedly and without any apparent end.

You MUST understand fully how you are participating in what's happening - without beating yourself up or making yourself any more wrong than you already have been.

As you read the information in this session, and as you come to understand what's happening at an energetic level, you will become more and more aware of what you are doing while you are doing it, and then at that point you are at choice. Your choice will be to either continue to hold that attitude of yours the way you've been, or allow new perceptions and energetic vibes to come through you to heal your relationship through your new decisions and visions of the relationship you are going for.

By learning the science behind what's really going on, you will then understand why all the politically correct language you've been trying out has not been successful. You can use all of the right words . . . but that attitudinal vibration of yours may very well be what’s getting in the way.

And that's why this course is specifically guiding you to new scientific knowledge, perceptions, understanding and language, so that you can begin MasterMinding right away.

In the upcoming sessions, you will begin learning how to ask for things that it never occurred to you to ask for before, with the energy to bring in what you want. Doing your personal work in combination with a MasterMind partner is truly an amazing process, one that will grow you into your own authentic voice, into your power and into the life you most want to live.

We all desire to be kind and compassionate, but it's easy to allow the challenges of everyday life to throw us off track. To get back into alignment, ask yourself: “Am I kinder today than I was a year ago?” “Do I treat people as if they were precious or problematic?” Just for today, vow to act kindly toward everyone with whom you come in contact, and then try to make your experiment a daily habit.
- Mary Manin Morrissey

Let's Begin

YOUR FOCUS: ONE OF YOU BRINGING THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER

In life and in love, there is only this moment, the now.
The only reality we know is what we experience this very second.
Reality is not what has passed or what has yet to come into being.
Grabbing hold of this simple idea makes life magical, because it brings love alive.
-Leo Buscaglia, in Handbook for the Heart

The first thing we are going to do is slow everything down. There is nothing to rush around about, even if you are being pressured to sign divorce papers; even if you have been left for another; even if you have children in trouble; even if your partner is moving out with all of his or her things; even if - even if - even if.

You have invested in this CyberCourse, and therefore you have decided for your marriage. By immersing yourself in the work of each session, you will be taking in the knowledge that will begin to alter and transform your attitudinal vibration. In doing your work through what I am recommending, you will begin to interrupt what's happening that is now having a devastating effect, and start charting a new pathway for healing and reconciliation.

In this course of work you WILL ultimately get your marriage headed in the direction that will be healthiest for all concerned . . . provided you do your work to make your life--not just your marriage, not just your job--the best it can be. The rest will naturally unfold.

By now, people may be telling you to just “get over” the ending of your marriage and get on with your life. That's because they have their own extremely limited beliefs about what is possible and what is not. They, like you, have been taught to judge people in a situation from a limited perception, and decide whether or not a marriage is viable.

So, when those limited perceptions, fearful thoughts and bad news come from "well meaning" friends and acquaintances, I want you to remember this: No matter how bad it looks in this moment, you have sacred entitlement to your marriage. Your marriage vows are sacred. You have "first dibs" on your spouse, period. Remember this throughout anything and everything that may or may not occur in the upcoming months.

This course will walk you through the darkest nights of your soul and bring you out on the other side, into the light . . . if you choose to turn this around.

It's your choice, even if right now it feels like it isn't at all possible. You are never without power and you are never without choice. You can choose to save your marriage, and you can decide that this is, without a doubt, what you want.

There must be no more ambiguity, or you will not succeed. Providence moves with commitment: a decision for your marriage. We may have a few mountains to level, but hey, that's simply the work at hand.

Since performing and understanding the following “Energy Illustration” and exercise is PARAMOUNT to your understanding of exactly what you will be doing in the course of this work, you’ll need to read it all the way through . . . because the conclusion will not only surprise you, it will explain everything you intuitively knew, but wouldn't let yourself know . . . until now.

This exercise, in combination with the following THOUGHT E X P A N D E R section, will not only explain what this course is about, it is the very thing you MUST be mindful of from this moment forward in order to stop “checking out” of the marriage, i.e. withholding love and love-making--in whatever way you’re doing that, be it attitudinal condemnation, judgment, threats, filing for divorce, martyrdom, “walking on egg shells,” being the bitch from hell or the jerk from Uranus, etc.--and transform all that has gone before into what you prefer it now to be.

Know this: Until you let go of being so right about what you think is happening and become willing to look at things differently, nothing will change in your marriage.

Whatever you put your attention on grows and becomes your intended experience. Intention is powerful in getting you what you want . . . as well as what you don't want. It all depends on what you put your attention on, over and over and over again.

Whether or not you can get your spouse to do this demonstration with you is not the most important thing that can happen here.

When one of you understands the implications of this, a new energy will be conveyed vibrationally and it will have an affect on your spouse, whether he or she is present for this or not.

The upcoming THOUGHT E X P A N D E R section has specific research that will explain the science behind exactly what is happening in this exercise.

What is essential is that you understand fully how you are participating in “energy-sending” and “energy-receiving” in order to successfully affect what's been going on in your relationship up to this moment.

For now: Get with your support person, your MasterMind partner, and/or your spouse, if they are currently with you on this. The two of you will take turns using a technique called “Muscle Testing” following the examples and method I have described in this section.

I will describe now in detail a demonstration that I have done with literally thousands of people during live performances, which I do to drive home the reality that what we think literally and instantaneously affects our world.

After you have read this entire section, get a blindfold and perform the Muscle Testing exercise, exactly as I have described, with your partner, taking turns with whatever substances you want to put in the zip-lock bags. Just make sure that one of the baggies has sugar in it, so you can both see the instant transformation of what we have been told is an “unhealthy” or “negative” substance.

In this Muscle Testing exercise, you will experience the feeling of energy coming into your body as a result of thinking and/or receiving certain thoughts.

Most people have felt the effects of negative and positive energy. But, because it is invisible to the eye, and we don't exactly get a “computer read-out,” we can talk ourselves out of knowing what we know or feeling what we feel. You will now have concrete information that you probably thought you were delusional about before.

And, if someone has an attitude about you, well, you've known it all along. What this demonstration will substantiate, is that you really are not crazy! It's true, it's happening, and you don’t have to be taking it on. But to not take it on requires that you send back different vibes than what you probably have been.

Vibes of resistance, anger, avoidance, fear, less-than, better-than, arrogance, condemnation and “attitude back at you, Jerk/Bitch” - all of these are only vibes that will get you more of what you've been participating in with your spouse!

You must change the vibe to change the experience. Don't expect your spouse to do it or to "get this" ... you are now deciding to step up and be in your most adult self i.e. a living example of what humanity can be!

Know this: Your thoughts, attitudes, judgments, etc. have an immediate and scientifically provable effect on your world, in an instant!

AFFECTING YOUR WORLD IN AN INSTANT

The Body Electric and Magnetic

Discover Magazine featured an article* which included a series of brightly colored electronic photographs showing the illuminated flow of electrical activity throughout the entire system of nerves and blood vessels in the human body.

* DISCOVER Vol. 14 No. 02 | February 1993 | Biology & Medicine The Body Electric -New computer models reveal patterns that spring back from the heart. By Carl Zimmer

Think about this. If a person’s heart stops, modern medical practitioners apply an electric jolt to get it started again. The brain uses electricity to issue its commands from neuron to neuron. When these signals reach a muscle, they set up a wave of electricity throughout the muscle. Each cell of the body has a positive and negative charge, so there is constant polarity. Each cell has a magnetic component. Which means the body is not only electric, it's magnetic. In essence, we are moving electromagnetic fields of living energy.

The human mind and body creates a magnetic field, a measurable field arising from electric charges in motion. As well, every cell in the body has it's own intelligence. It knows exactly what to do in any given situation or environment. There is even evidence that, at the sub-atomic level, each quantum particle/wave has an "intelligence" of its own! At the organic level of our bodies, embryonic cells "know" how to grow into higher forms of complex and distinctive systems. What is important to note is that each of these systems is responsive, in varying ways, to the electromagnetic energy generator of our minds.

Because the body is electrical, and each cell in the body has a positive and negative charge, we are magnetically charged in accordance with what our thoughts vibrate and transmit.

Being electromagnetic sets up certain conditions for how we relate, respond and receive experiences in our physical world. And as we've learned from quantum field theory (the “cutting edge” of physics), this means that whatever we send out comes back again, showing that we get to be right about whatever we are holding in mind for as long as we choose to be right about it!

Thoughts magnetize an energy field around us. As an illustration, if you put metal filings on a piece of paper and put a magnet underneath it, the filings will form a pattern in accordance to the magnet. The filings have no will of their own. And so it is with the substance of our lives. Electrons conform to the consciousness of the experimenter. Matter must obey consciousness: it always has, it is right now, and it always will.

So there are three things we can infer from what we know about electromagnetic energy of the body, coupled with the implications of scientific experimentation in the field of quantum physics:

An analogy that illustrates this best is to imagine that the energy flow from you is like a signal or wavelength being transmitted from a radio or television station. Each of us emits very precise vibrational signals based on what we believe and think.

Everyone and everything in our environment has the capacity to pick up certain aspects of these signals. However, only those who are tuned in on the same wavelength can respond to them, as only those radios and television sets that are turned on and tuned in to a particular station will pick it up.

Have you ever picked up your TV remote control and randomly started flipping through the channels when something on one of the channels made you stop and watch? You were in tune, or in alignment with what was being shown or said, and that's why you wanted to stop and watch. Or the opposite can happen, and you can be in so much resistance to the information being presented that you turn to another channel immediately.

When you get deliberate in guiding your intentions--let's say from an existing situation of infidelity, to a totally devoted, mentally and emotionally monogamous spouse--you are literally tuning into another channel. By individually doing the work to bring the two of you back together, you are in fact tuning into another channel. Then, when you take your desired vision into the MasterMind experience, you are asking your partner's support in "knowing" together with you, that another “station” does in fact exist.

Setting relationship goals and MasterMinding with a support person IS deliberately deciding to “change channels.” The power of two or more minds in agreement--deciding to tune in to more pleasurable, life-enhancing frequencies and mental images of happy, rich, fulfilling relationships, enjoying prosperity, healthy lean bodies, fulfilling and fun work, etc.--opens up infinite possibilities immediately.

When we've been existing within a frequency of fear, anxiety, attitudinal condemnation, judgment, withholding love as a means of self-protection, lack and limitation, we must simply stop ourselves and interrupt habitual thinking with:

And there is! You ask your MasterMind partners’ support in helping you to either: 1) help you decide differently about this false evidence appearing real, or 2) look around your world with the intention of finding someone who has what you want and then tune into their channel. In doing this, you acquire a mental equivalent of another field of probabilities different from (and better than) the one you've been existing in.

Understanding that the human body is electromagnetic, combined with some insight into quantum physics, will help you to see how energy affects communication, and how we continuously affect our world, our reality and our connections with other people.

It also helps you understand that you are not crazy, because it is likely that you've been aware for some time now that you know things before you think you should know them. Most importantly, we can understand at long last that we all have the capacity to connect with anyone anywhere in time and space, and therefore bring any desire into form.

There are many experiments that show that the mind or consciousness is not restricted to our bodies, nor is it restricted to any kind of locality.

In my live presentations, I use "Muscle Testing," which is also known as a form of Applied Kinesiology called Context Reflex Analysis (CRA), to prove that our bodies "read" energy in our environment. I demonstrate the immediate effect our attitudes have on other people — whether they are secret and underlying or right out there, loud and clear.

First I explain that the body is electromagnetic, and that every cell in the body has a positive and negative charge. Because of this, the mind/body energy can be “tested,” i.e. the body can give me yes/no “answers,” through the utilization of the strength of resistance in the muscles of the person's arm, as a way of testing the body's reaction to various forms of energy. Then I ask for a volunteer to come up from the audience. I ask them for their permission, giving them a brief explanation of what I am going to have them do. I also inform them that they will be receiving both positive and negative energy.

When they have given me their permission, I explain how I use the participant’s arm to test and to get a yes and a no answer. When the volunteer has a good reaction, feeling, or sense about something they are thinking about, or when some energy is affecting them from the outside in a positive way, the muscles in the arm are strong. When the opposite happens, with bad feelings or negative external energy, the muscles are weak. I explain that I will have them hold their arm up, straight and out to the side in order for me to try to push it down. I push down on the arm to test for a "yes" or a "no." Strong is yes, weak is no. In the demonstration, I will hold various substances in a plastic zip-lock bag close against the midsection of their body.

If the electrical impulse within the intelligence of their body is in agreement or harmony with what I am placing in their energy field, their arm will remain firm, and I will not be able to push it down, no matter how much force I try to use. If the energetic intelligence in their body does not like or agree with the energy source I am bringing into their energy field, their arm will go down easily when I test it by pushing down on it. Firm and outright is "yes, this is good." Down and limp is "no, not good."

Next, I ask the person to close their eyes (or use a blindfold) and keep them closed until the end of the illustration. Now, with their eyes closed, I hold an apple in a plastic bag against the midsection of their body. This puts the apple, which has it's own particular energy, within the energy field of the person's body. This person's body reads the energy of the apple.

I test to see whether or not it would be good for their body to have the apple. The body always knows what is good for it and what is not, energetically. I picked an apple for this experiment because it is one food that is generally good for everyone. I ask the person holding the apple to let us know, by the answer of yes or no coming through their arm, if this thing that they are holding is good for the body. The body knows. We are working with the energy.

In almost every case using an apple, when I push down, the arm stays firm, no matter how hard I push down. One notable exception was when I had tested a diabetic person. I couldn't figure out what was wrong, until someone in the audience whispered the information to me. She would have been out of balance with her insulin had she eaten the apple! The experiment had not "failed," but rather had proven itself correct!

Next, I take refined sugar in a baggie, hold it right next to their mid-section and ask the body, again, if this would be good for it. The arm, in most cases, goes down. Most people believe that pure sugar isn't really good for you, right?

The next thing I do is tell the audience that I want them to send an attitude to the person I'm testing. Without the person being able to see or hear what I am doing from that moment forward, I signal the audience that I want them to think negative thoughts and project their negative attention toward the person I am testing. After a few moments of negative attitudes being sent, I push down on the person's arm.

Every single time I have done this, the person's arm is lifeless, limp. They can't even will themselves to keep it up. That's how dramatic and instantaneous a negative attitude is on the person you are having a “problem” with. Whether you mean to or not, you are sending your attitude and they are responding to it energetically.

Next, I signal the audience to send the person I'm testing some LOVE. Within a few moments, their arm becomes stronger and stronger, until I literally cannot push it down. This explains why we never have problems with the people we love or like or have great appreciation for. There's no attitudinal push or pull.

The energy of LOVE instantly transforms and heals the human body, mind and psyche. Yet, it is usually the very thing that we withhold when we are angry or upset with someone, which gets us a reaction that fuels an already existing problem into higher degrees of difficulty. Right? We literally put ourselves between a rock and a hard spot with our attitudes, which come in the forms of hurt, resentment, condemnation, judgment, rationalization, defensiveness and on and on. And, as you know, nothing changes in these difficult relationships until you have a softening of the heart. Once a softening, an understanding or forgiveness occurs in one of you, the entire relationship can realign and get back on track, or on a new track.

But we are not done yet. Remember the sugar?

Now this is going to blow you away! I bring back the sugar in the baggie and place it back in the test person's energy field. I silently signal the audience that I want them to send a loving attitude to the bag of sugar. We take a few moments and mentally send our blessings and LOVE to the sugar. I push down on the arm again. It remains up and firm. I cannot push it down.

By altering your own thinking, perceptions and attitudes, you will be changed at depth and your partner, like the sugar, will experience this change energetically.

Your attitude, prejudices and fears about your partner will be transformed because of your intention to experience a more peaceful and productive relationship with them, because both he/she and you will feel the effects immediately.

You can't have an attitude about anything in your world, and keep it a secret.

You cannot continue to condemn, judge and label someone and have a harmonious outcome with them.

You must understand that whatever you decide for is going to have an effect energetically on this situation. You can now, through study and completion of this course, begin asking that your intentions be powerfully guided through the MasterMind process, so that the fulfilling relationship you’re deciding for manifests.

Know this: you are sending deliberate, intentional energetic communication to the people you bring into any MasterMind request. Therefore, when we go for the highest intention: peace, love, joy, harmony and good will - we are essentially blessing people and situations in our lives. It will be felt, energetically. And as with the initial “negative” energy of the sugar, the negative in you and in them becomes transformed immediately.

There is nothing stopping us from blessing the people in our world at any given moment of any day. There is nothing stopping us from having a dramatic affect on our world with all those we know, meet or whose lives we touch. It's all just energy and we have dominion over our world. Which means that we can initiate and affect change any moment we choose.

The Implications for STOPPING HOW YOU WITHHOLD LOVE

Mental concentration upon love will produce a positive love current, which goes forth to break up and dissolve opposing thoughts of fear. The thought of fear about anything can and will be dissolved, not only in the mind of the thinker, but also in the minds of those with whom he or she comes in contact or thinks about.

The “love vibe” is not a projection of the will. It is simply a setting free of a natural, equalizing, harmonizing force that has been dammed up and unused. Most people think that when they love a person, they have a right to dominate and rule that person's life. When people try to rule and dominate others, calling it "love," they often cause the reverse of what they want to have happen.

Love is the drawing, attracting power of the mind. If you have used visualization previously without attaining the desires you hoped for, it may be because you did not "love" your imaged desires into expression.

Love is the magnet that draws and fills with life your vision of a loving, harmonious marriage. Loving your pictured desire is the secret of making it a visible result!

Indeed love heals, but being loved does not.
Being loved merely holds the door open for healing, for happiness,
for fulfillment, for 'getting our needs met.'
But to walk through that door, we must love.
If being loved healed, all creatures great and small would now be perfect,
for God has loved them all and always will.
-Hugh and Gayle Prather, in Handbook for the Heart

And this is how 1 of You CAN Bring the 2 of You Back Together Again

Let's face it . . . the two of you have likely been arguing, fussing and fighting verbally and most importantly, non-verbally, for some time now. And if your spouse has essentially cut off all communications with you, your only recourse is to learn now how to communicate something different on the non-verbal, energetic plane . . . that is, if you are ever to open the doors of verbal and physical connection again.

This non-verbal bickering - attitudinal judgments and criticisms - with each other is probably the largest percentage of what you've been doing and sending energetically. This is a foundational reason for the breakdown of your connection to each other.

Whether you mean to be sending negative vibes or not, does not matter - because in all likelihood you have been. And that's what the two of you have presumably continued to do, even though you think you are out of radius with each other . . . you're not! So let's be perfectly clear here: you are communicating with each other right here, right now.

So, the question is, "What are you communicating?"

And more importantly, "What are you now going to intentionally and deliberately communicate?"

OK, now . . . maybe you are still pretty pissed off, hurt, destroyed, betrayed, etc. The question is, “How long do you need and intend to feel this way about what all has occurred?”

I am reminded of the friend I mentioned in the beginning of this course, who found out her husband had been having an affair for nearly two years. Part of their reconciliation was their agreement that he needed to tell their two teenage daughters the whole truth about his participation in the destruction of their marriage. When the girls had fully gotten their minds around the magnitude of what had happened, the youngest one, 15, said, "It will take me a year to forgive him!"

I thought that was great. Out of the mouths of babes! She had decided, somehow, that it would take her a year . . . and then, that would be it! Amazingly simple.

So, what's it going to be? A week, a month, a year . . . or are you thinking you’re going to leave it "out there" until you think they've suffered enough for how they've hurt you?!

Most of us have been raised with this idea that we have to "teach people a lesson" by withdrawing love, humiliating / shaming them, scaring the dickens out of them with threats of abandonment or whatever, in order for them NOT TO DO IT AGAIN! Yeah, that really teaches people a lesson. How has it worked for you up until now?

It's in human relationships that we get to see evidence of whether we're coming from fear or living in love. When fear speaks to us, it never says, "I'm going to wreck your relationship." It says, "I'm going to keep you safe. I'm going to make sure no one hurts you in any way." We want to be safe, to be protected. But love, the voice of faith, says, "Go ahead and take a risk. Open your heart. Take a step in love." Seize your opportunities to respond with love. To believe the best is a faith move.
--Mary Manin Morrissey

Trying to force people to conform so we can delude ourselves into believing that we are safe, while we continue to hound them to keep them "controlled" so they won't do it again, will literally get us MORE OF THE SAME! It is not what works for a happy, safe and loving relationship, or it would have worked by now!

I will tell you unequivocally that, the quicker you get your focus turned upon what you prefer to be your future experience, and the quicker you can get off all of the pain and suffering that has gone before, the quicker you can have a nice, safe, loving life!

The more you elect to hang on to it, or hold it over their head, the more you are now consciously contributing to the destruction of your marriage, and producing more and more and more of the same. Yes, you are participating in the future you are creating with your spouse.

Question: What will it get you to continue to suffer and feel hurt about what's happened?

Answer: More of the same . . . and no, it doesn't keep you safe!

So with that as your answer, why then would we want to continue to do the thing that doesn't work and causes us pain?

Answer: Well, we've been taught that if we just forgive and forget then it "might" happen again, because what's to stop them from doing it again?

Well, that's exactly what this entire course is about: retraining your thinking about what you believe you must accept and expect. You must learn new ways of being in relationship . . . based on quantum physics and the science of energy, based on what to practice, and based on what you now must let go of in order to make way for the “new” that you want to be your marital experience.

That's right. You must let go of what's not working. It doesn't work to hang something over someone's head. Forgiving and forgetting, without re-framing your decision for the relationship, without changing your intentions and your expectations, in fact, guarantees that it will happen again. So what will fix this?

I'm telling you now, and I will be repeating this a bazillion times throughout this course:

You must rigorously put your focus on the future you want to create as your experience.

Anything less than this will get you what you've always gotten. All of your answers lie in what you think about, what you hold as your vision, and what you ask another to hold with you and for you in this process of getting your life and your marriage back on track.

 Story

From Divorce Court to Loving Reconciliation in 4 months!

There was a woman who had all the knowledge and training in the world she needed to have a happy, loving marriage. In fact, her expertise was in transforming the lives of children, adolescents, and families. She was a professional counselor, educator and consultant.

She had achieved a Master's Degree in Educational Psychology and had worked with thousands of children in the educational system, utilizing her transformative power and knowledge to assist in the healing and improvement of the lives of all those she touched.

When the time came for her to have children of her own, she found that while the emotions were considerably more intense, she could still apply what she knew would work to grow her children into safe, productive, self actualized and happy individuals.

But when it came to her own marriage, she was failing miserably. While she was transforming other people's families and children, her second marriage was in a constant state of turmoil and disconnection.

One day, six years into the marriage, after the four hundred thousandth fight about whatever it was that it always was, her husband packed a bag and left. There was literally no way to reach him. She knew that this time was different. While they'd had blow ups before, she knew that he had just closed a door on their marriage for good.

When her husband walked out that door, and she knew it was for real this time, she was instantly aware that this was bigger than her. That she, of herself, could not fix this marriage; fix what was wrong with him; fix what was wrong with her. She could not do one more thing . . .of herself. They were in lock-down mode. It was over. He cut off all communication with her. He did not want to hear one more word out of her mouth. He filed for divorce within two days of walking out the door. He did everything he could possibly do to completely sever the chord of marriage that bound the two of them together. She knew this was it. She could feel that his heart had truly left their relationship.

In fact, she had been feeling it for some time. She had a psychic feeling that he had already "connected" with someone and had an intention to pursue her immediately upon leaving his marriage. This knowing cut her to the core. It hit her where her deepest and most painful fears and failures lived. She could feel him headed to another woman. She just didn't know exactly who, but she knew something had taken place out there in the “real world” that had allowed him to cut bait and go.

The total realization that her marriage was over was unbearable. The realization that there was another woman sent her through the floor. Never mind about all of the other problematic issues of the marriage.

She'd had huge, painful losses before - a child loss at birth, her first marriage - yet she did not think she could endure this level of loss again.

There was nothing left for her to say or do other than begin her own energetic connecting work and take her deliberate requests and goals and intentions into a MasterMind session.

She immediately called her MasterMind partners and told them what had happened. The first step was to decide what she wanted. Did she even want this man and this marriage, after all?

She had a way out now. She'd been unhappy for years with the constant resistance, fussing and fighting every inch of the way for the things she really wanted him to honor and change in his treatment of her.

God, she was tired of being the bitch and the responsible one.

As her MasterMind partners allowed her the space and time to vent and cry and replay her victimization, she began to get clear about what she really wanted. This is the point of MasterMinding after all: to get clear about what you really want and then set an intention to have it. It is not rushing about trying to make it happen, and not about concerning yourself with "how" it will happen. Just MasterMind for it and with each goal and request you formulate, you are deliberately setting the energy in motion to invoke it to unfold for you in expected and unexpected ways.

She had utilized MasterMinding for over a decade at this point, most specifically for building a highly lucrative, life-enhancing business. She had used it to benefit her children, especially in times of their young life challenges. She knew how potent and powerful it could be to MasterMind for end results, to see them orchestrated easily and beautifully.

And yet, this situation looked too big and too impossible to even hope that they could get back together again. Especially since she felt the presence of another woman now violating her marriage.

She knew his love for her was gone . . . so how, in heaven's name, do you MasterMind to get somebody's heart back into the game so you can try to convince them to do more work in areas that he clearly didn't want to work on in the first place?!

Ah yes, that was the million dollar question.

But recall that, despite the appearances of an impossible situation, a person always has the power and the authority within them to come up over it.

Getting him back wasn't the only issue. There would still be the initial problems within the marriage. The things she had been fighting for in the first place.

The question now was: Could she get past the years that had been eaten away by her anger and resentment at the pain, indifference, selfishness, abuse and now, very soon, would be another woman?

So there it was. A most impossible situation. He moved his things and set up his business in a city three hours away, the divorce was well underway and it appeared that there was nothing she could do to stop him.

As word traveled of their divorce in the upcoming months, many would come up to them (individually) and tell them how much better off they were without the other. Many would now suddenly offer their "opinion" of the other, as if it somehow justified divorce or that they were "right" about the person, after all.

She was shocked at how ‘laissez faire’ people were about her divorce: to realize that people treated her divorce as if it was an acceptable outcome to a relationship with unresolved problems. Not one person who approached her to say they were sorry asked her if it was what she really wanted. She became very aware of how accepting our society has become of divorce as the only real alternative to marital difficulties.

After much soul-searching and refusing to simply accept the appearances, as well as the reality that his heart was out of it and moving on into new directions, she decided she wanted her marriage and she still wanted it to be all that she knew it could be, even though he was, and had been, very resistant to the work she wanted him to do. How crazy was that? She was going to MasterMind to reconcile marriage with a man who resisted and fought her on the very work and changes in behaviors that needed to be made to make things loving and harmonious!

Nonetheless, she called up her MasterMind partners and began formulating requests to meet each and every painful situation and condition that was headed her way as the divorce continued to move forward.

Because of MasterMinding, she had begun receiving new insights, new resources, new deepening and understanding of what was going on and what needed to happen. She was deeply remorseful for her participation, but forgiving of herself and of him. Things were being orchestrated for her to come to herself, to see how she had participated in getting more of what she didn't want and what she needed to do to alter habitual behaviors and outcomes. More importantly, there was new energy moving through her - in ways it never had before.

New understanding was beginning to be revealed to her as she allowed him to speak his deep-seated, unresolved anger at her. She took it all. It was painful. It cut to her core. But she listened.

He announced, finally, that he was seeing somebody else, and told her who it was.

After every painful experience with him, either by phone or email, she would call her MasterMind partners and make requests for different results: healing results. Little by little, things began to unfold differently.

There were times when she was in such pain and fear that she called her MasterMind partners daily. There were times she would call late at night, weeping and grieving over the fear of loss.

Her MasterMind partners, though, were committed to see this thing through with her. There was even a level of determination because they all wanted LOVE TO WIN - not just for her, but for themselves and for the world. They all wanted concrete evidence, once and for all, that love really could heal all things.

Each and every time she would ask her partners to "see" the results she wanted, she would feel better and stronger. Her focus and her desire were laser-like. She would not be deterred by "appearances." She knew enough about MasterMinding to know that when you have a third invisible mind present, because of a spirit of agreement and harmony, that THINGS START HAPPENING for the better. Events and people and situations begin to be orchestrated for the good of the whole.

In some instances, she would even get wind of things as they were unfolding. The night that he slept with this other woman, she psychically knew that it was happening. She was overcome with grief over the appearance of loss, of physical and emotional betrayal. She immediately got on the phone again, and asked for her MasterMind partners’ support in knowing that his sexual encounter with this woman would be unsatisfying.

As dead set as he was to divorce her, there were things occurring in her favor, because she decided she would take advantage of the fact that she was entitled, through their sacred marital agreement, to reconcile their marriage. She was entitled to "first rights" on her husband. And any other woman messing around with her man would simply be a nothing experience.

The universe was responding, and she could feel it. She knew she could not stop him from the action he was determined to take. But what she knew she could do was participate in the probability field of an outcome that could ultimately reunite them, if she could just remain laser focused on the end result and the end result only: reconciliation.

She was ENTITLED to her marriage. And that's the “ace” she decided to play in the MasterMind process.

It took a consistent approach, repeated vision and the power that comes through the MasterMind process. Four months later, he called one day, out of the blue, and told her they needed to talk. It just so happened that she was driving over the mountain at the time the phone call came in. She was on her way into the city to fly out for work. He told her he would meet her at the airport.

They met and talked. They touched . . . and then they held each other for the world of travelers to see. He said he could not believe he was doing this, but for some reason, he felt compelled to reconcile, even though he had been certain that he had closed the door to a future with her.

Over a period of the next two weeks, much was discussed, and little by little, the MasterMind had moved through them both in ways they could have never predicted. The process had changed them both at depth. And they reunited and have both been MasterMinding together since.

That woman was me, and I'm here to explain to you that you don't have to do this alone anymore, and  I'm here to let you know that you can bring health and reconciliation to your marriage.  And I'm hear to teach you exactly how one of you can bring the two of you back together again with the seeing power of your friends, i.e. MasterMind partners.  And not for a repeat performance of all that has been.

The difficulties you face in your marriage: abuse, death of a child, infidelity, poverty, loss, catastrophic illness or accident, can be relieved of their death grip, if you will only utilize the energy to transform any situation that can come through you with the seeing power of two or more people, committed to seeing for you your heart’s truest desires.

By yourself, you cannot do it.  You've tried.  You've given it the good fight . . . and therein lies the problem.  This is about not fighting for what you want any more.  This is about energetically influencing situations to transform them into preferred outcomes.

It takes the power of that third, “invisible” mind - Infinite Intelligence - to come through you in ways that you have not been accessing or allowing before, to change you at depth, so you can have the marriage you've always dreamed of.  You have tried doing it alone.  You have tried fussing, fighting, arguing and avoidance.  It hasn't worked . . . and that's called a clue.

When Craig walked out the door, I knew this time it was different.  I was too angry at him to feel any fear.  In fact, I was on my way to my weekly MasterMind meeting and during the session that day, I simply MasterMinded that God's will be done - so be it!  I was ready for the marriage to be over, if that was what was best and for the highest good. But I was done, too. 

I felt that way for about two days.  On the third day, the reality of it being over set in.  I could energetically feel that he had totally cut the chord with me.  It was a devastating, overwhelming realization, energetically, and it activated every fear, panic and abandonment issue I had thought I had taken care of. 

I collapsed to my knees and wailed in pain and despair.  This was not what I wanted.  I was mortified at the devastation. I thought I would never feel this way again.  It was as severe as the loss of my baby boy, and that surprised me.  I didn't think anything could hurt that much.  It was a truly empty place in my soul, and that surprised me.  I was always uncertain as to how much I loved Craig, mostly because I was such a different person when he came into my life, in comparison to how I was earlier in my life, before I knew who I was and felt the power of my purpose in life. 

All of the other men, previous to Craig, I had loved from a place of neediness, of "needing" them.  In my first marriage, I just barely knew who I was.  In fact I had just gone through a wonderful transformation of coming to myself, just before my first husband, Robby, entered my life.  Previous to Robby, I had thought that my life's value was in finding a man who would marry me.  That my gifts and talents and the importance of who I was and what I felt and wanted was only to be secondary in the big scheme of things. 

I had just returned from a rafting trip down the Salmon River for a week, and it had been one of those spiritual "a-ha" awakening experiences unto myself.  I came back off of that trip so packed full of myself, and that I was such an attractive beacon of light that I really didn't give a rip what anybody thought about me any more, much less a man. 

When I first I met Robby, he was smitten with me immediately, and I didn't care!  I thought he was the goofiest and the wildest dresser on the planet!  He had the John Travolta look (this was in the ‘70s,) and I wasn't impressed at all.  That was totally new for me.  Previously, I would have been jumpin' his bones to get his love within two hot seconds of me realizing that he wanted me!  I used to play the game of, "Don't let them know you really do want to get married, so they will continue to see you."  And, that, of course, would work for about two months and then they'd dump me, like they never really knew me anyway, and they certainly had no responsibility for the relationship that they had started with me. 

Oh my God, what pain and suffering I subjected myself to with the, "No, I really don't want to get married" game.  That was ALL I wanted, it was all I thought about, it was all I planned for.  And never once did I just come out and say it.

Well, I came off that river trip so full of myself that I totally brushed Robby off for about a month.  Then one night at a football game, I saw him coaching the kids on the sideline, and I was suddenly smitten, and had an epiphany!  I wanted him to be the father of my children.  The next Monday, I indicated to him that I'd be interested in going out with him after all.  He jumped on it in a hot second, and we had a mid-week date. 

We went out, had a great time, and at the door I said, "I need to let you know, I had a great time tonight, and I'm very interested in you.  I also need to let you know that I’m only interested in exploring this relationship with you if you’re interested in marriage.  I don't know if you are the one for me, but I'm only interested in seeing you again if you’re interested in marriage, too, and seeing if I'm the one for you." 

It felt so powerful to finally get that out on the table. I was solid, I was sure and I was RESOLVED!  I did not want to dink around any more.  Without hesitating, he said that he was interested in marriage, too, and was interested in seeing me more to see if I was the one.

Eight months later, we were married. 

But, something happened the day after the marriage ceremony.  I not only “became my mother,” I collapsed back into a total state of powerlessness within myself.

I'll talk more later about the issues in my marriage to Robby, but for now, I’ll fast-forward to the years after my divorce from Robby.  I had been a single mom for about five years when Craig first asked me out.  By that time, I had come into my own, into my purpose in life, my passion for who I was and what I was doing with my life, other than being the best mom on the planet . . . and my desire was great to re-marry.  But, I had fought hard for the changes that occurred for me in those years of doing it all alone without any help, approval, acceptance and love from a man.  In other words, I had learned a lot about self-love, approval and acceptance, as well as my own personal power to manifest whatever I wanted.

Only a month before Craig had asked me out, I had a realization that I no longer "needed" a man to make me whole, but that I "wanted" a man for romance, marriage and companionship.  I could feel the difference between the two.  In fact, unbeknownst to me, Craig's roommate, Michael, had asked me out, and I had met him for tea.  And when I knew I was not going to be interested in seeing him again, I told him basically to not bother pursuing me, that "it" just wasn't there for me with him.  He was so angry with me that he told me that the problem with me was that I didn't need men!  I simply replied, "Thank you," and felt I had just graduated.

Now, you may be thinking this is a good thing.  And it was, but I had also gone from one extreme to the opposite extreme in relationship to men, and now needed to find the middle ground.  So the first six years of my marriage to Craig was about finding this middle ground. 

By the time Craig and I had gone out on our first date, he was experienced at dating, too.  And he picked a fun date, which appealed to me: roller skating.  We'd known of each other for over two years at that point, because of church.  Timing had just finally brought us together. 

Previous to Craig, I'd had a relationship with a man name Kevin, in which I had once again collapsed into powerlessness.  Being a single mother, fearing he wouldn't want me and my child, I didn't state my intention and ask the question, "I am only interested in seeing and exploring a relationship that may lead to marriage.  Are you interested in the same, exploring a committed relationship with me?"  So, that ended up to be seven months worth of agony. 

When I felt like I had waited as long as I could stand it, I finally got up the courage to ask him what his intentions toward me were.  He never intended to ever consider marrying me, a woman with a child!  How did I peg that one?  Of course my intuition knew from the start, but I was so smitten with him, I kept "hoping" he would eventually want me as much as I wanted him!  Oh pain and agony!  After that, I did not even want to go out with men for nearly two years, and during that time my writing and speaking were taking hold and my self-esteem was forming at new levels. 

The summer before Craig came into my life, I had begun MasterMinding for my ideal mate.  I had paid for a dating service and did my best to pursue some men, and to accept some dates.  Nothing clicked.  I could not even consider the bar scene.  So, I got pretty bold in my MasterMind request and started asking for men to show up!  And, several men did. 

The first man I dated showed up to my front door for an open Friendship Circle meeting from my church.  We dated for about a month.  He was ten years younger than me and so, it was just for the fun of it dating, I did not intend to consider him for marriage, nor did he for me.  I felt my time with him was opening me back up to getting the feel for dating again.

The second man that came in asked me out at church.  We went out on one date.  And to my surprise, he offered to come clean the gutters on my house.  Then one evening he called and told me a great speaker was speaking downtown and asked if I wanted to come. I drove down and met him, along with 4 other of his "women" friends (and that is called a clue) and, by coincidence, we all sat directly behind Craig in this wonderful little church. Craig turned around and saw me sitting there, and was totally blown away.  I sat there and thought, well, I'm not going out with this guy again, and then I thought only briefly about Craig sitting right in front of me.  After the event, Craig waited for me at the back door and helped me get to my car in the rain. 

Two weeks later, he had arrived at church early just so he could get my phone number to ask me out.  It was a morning that I was late getting there. I was late often; not because I was a single mother, but mostly because I didn't like the stuff before the Sunday sermon, and I would just come in about the time the sermon began and enjoy it better.  Craig, on the other hand, was a "punctual" person, arriving on time, every time! (Issue #1!)

I had come in to drop my son off at Sunday school.  Craig was agitated that I was late arriving, but put it aside long enough to ask me out for coffee sometime, and could he have my phone number?

So, the first date night with Craig, I knew I felt a really good connection, and I was very interested in exploring a committed relationship with him.  So, I put it out there, to which he replied that this was the name of the game he was in, too.  And so, the dating began.

Come to find out, that the night in church when I was meeting the other man, before I arrived, Craig had been having a conversation with God about me.  He had been interested in me for several years from afar, and had recently broken off his relationship with a woman he decided he just couldn't marry.  His conversation went something like thi;s "If Mary is the one for me, bring me a sign!"  And so, there I was, sitting right behind him!  (We both love telling and remembering this story.)

Within two months, we were engaged.  Within two more months, we broke up.  Within four months we were back together and re-engaged.  It took us two years to get to the altar.  And now, six years into the marriage, we were headed for divorce.

The issues that occurred from our first engagement throughout our separation and filing for divorce had been hard fought, and we were both pooped out.

It will always amaze me, the humanness of marriage and how long we fight for things, until they are so unbearable that there is some sort of “train wreck.”  And then, when we've had enough to where we simply can't fight anymore, we start thinking about the simplicity of what we really wanted all along. 

This is what MasterMinding will do for your marriage.  It will simplify the entire process down to getting clear about just how simple, valid and worthy what you want really is, and then, through the power of the process, you begin to ask for and get what you want through the assistance of Infinite Intelligence.

You have not been able to get what you want by fighting.  Now, how about turning it over to a higher power - Infinite Intelligence - to guide you, to move through you, and have love's healing presence transform even the most difficult, most broken parts of your marriage, for you?  I "of myself" cannot do it.  When two or more minds come together in agreement, for a specific end result for the good of the whole, there is a third invisible mind present, eager to transform, heal and soothe over all that's been, if you will only allow it to work in your life, for you.

After Craig closed the door of his heart on me, I felt the absence of him so totally that there was only me and the universe to work this out with.  Working it out from the inside out.  That was the work at hand.

But first, I needed to decide that I did, in fact, want this man and this marriage.  Part of the problem with my independence that I had gained in being a single parent, and having to do it all alone, is yes, it made me powerful in my aloneness.  So, on the one hand, I didn't fear it anymore; but on the other hand, it made a new problem, and that was the ability to let someone in.  To be yielding to my husband.  To surrender to love.  To be "INTER-dependent.”  I had become so autonomous, I had gone so far to the right after being so far to the left, that I needed to be able to function somewhere closer to the middle! 

A balance of independence and dependence would be interdependence.  People need people.  And that's a good thing.  And somehow, in my loneliness and isolation I had made it a bad thing.  I WOULD NEVER NEED ANOTHER MAN AGAIN!  SO I WOULD THEREFORE NEVER BE HURT, ABANDONED, LEFT BY ANOTHER MAN AGAIN!  And here I was, hurt, abandoned and left by my second husband.  What you resist, persists.  That which you fear is upon you.

It wasn't the “women's movement” that brought these life changes about in me; it was me still trying to keep me safe.  I had MasterMinded throughout the years, not only for business, but about Craig and our marriage.  But never with the earnestness and intent that I was about to embark upon.

This would be a new journey for me, one of being changed at depth and restoring my marriage.

Within a few weeks, I surrendered into knowing down to my toes that this was the man for me, that this was the only man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I wanted to grow old with this man.  He was my “jazz man,” and he was the man I wanted to dance with for the rest of my life.  I'd dated enough men to know what was out there. He was my fit, even though many things did not fit just yet.  I did not want anybody else.  My heart was a married heart. 

One of the things that had occurred inside of me over the years of dating, and then even after we had married, was that maybe I had settled for less than what I really wanted. 

Even though on the one hand, I felt he was a perfect fit, on the other hand, I hated how he treated my son and I, and that it was a constant battle between us.  It was a battle of the generations of abuse in marriage.  But, I felt, it was a worthy battle to bring about a different and more cleaned up model of marriage for future generations.  I figured, no matter who I married, we'd still have this generational legacy stuff to work out to create a new model of marriage.  So, it wasn't so much about thinking I could find a better guy for me, as much as it was thinking I could find a kinder guy for me. 

I'd see movies where the male actor was so wonderful, and then I'd go home to Craig and be pissed off at how he wasn't so wonderful as the guy in the movie.  What I wanted was the guy in the movie. And I have that today, but it took a vision that I desired and pursued faithfully and compassionately and mercifully, but didn't get pissed about not having yet! It took vision, work and some surrendering into it, to bring it about.

So, this is called "double-mindedness," and it comes through energetically in a marriage.  He undoubtedly felt my longing for a man who would treat me better and I undoubtedly felt his longing for a woman who wasn't such a bitch!  Oh yeah, I knew that's what he was thinking.  Maybe not in those exact words, but trust me, the feeling was there . . . that I was just a bitch about unnecessary stuff, and he just wanted to be left alone to his own devices, regardless of whether or not I was affected. 

Oh, gosh, there it is - my first marriage!

Shortly after Craig cut off all communication with me, I was walking alone downtown, and I saw a watercolor painting of an old woman and man walking hand in hand down a beautiful street, and I thought to myself,  “That’s me and Craig, and that's what I want.  I want us growing old together, walking hand in hand down the street of life.”  I went in and bought it, put it up in our bedroom, and it became my focal point. Little did I know just how much I would need a focal point, for what would rock my world in the upcoming four months would not be easy for me to traverse through, and believe my man would ever come back to me. 

And what you will be reading, threaded throughout this Stay Married CyberCourse, is the story of my journey. 

The work of this session is the work that I did in the early stages of our separation, right up through when he came back and we reconciled.  Do the work, and then do the work again and again and again.  Even if you reconcile more quickly than Craig and I did, understand, the work is not done.  There will be some transformational wins and there will be old repeat performances.  Some things will still get messy, others will not ever happen the same way again.  Give your marriage a full year in this process and this work, and you will have changes occur that are far greater than you can even imagine today.

Keep reading, and keeping doing the work I'm recommending.  Never, never, never give up and never give in to the temptation of thinking that there is no hope.  You simply cannot afford to allow yourself to think that this marriage can't be saved.  Hold firm to a vision that it can, and that you can be happy and fulfilled in marriage. Then you will find yourself on the other side of things, ultimately.