Session 2
The MasterMind 'Connection'

Let me explain what MasterMinding is and how, with a friend or two or three, you truly have the power to restore what may appear to be a "lost" marriage to full health, harmony, love and happiness.

First of all, know this: MasterMinding with a like-minded individual of your choosing will soothe your soul. You will feel the burden of having to figure this out all by yourself lifted.

If your life is a roller coaster right now, you need to fully understand that you can intercede on what ever is happening in an instant with MasterMinding. In learning how to formulate requests, and by making a call to your MasterMind partner, you can literally orchestrate a series of events that will level things out. You do not have to live the way you’ve been living, if you will take the initiative to intercede.

And I don't mean that "you" have to go out there, fight another battle or do anything other than confer with your MasterMind partner about what you'd prefer to see happen in this situation. You no longer need to "fold" and collapse in the fear of what is happening, and you no longer need to get your dukes up and start taking your punches. You no longer have to fight for what you want.

This entire session is about doing it differently!

And I am telling you, you WILL see things occur. You WILL affect a different outcome in your relationship, following the formulation of intentions and requests in the specific ways that I am laying out for you.

Energetic results will be felt immediately, by you and eventually by your spouse. The science behind this simply shows that we are truly connected, and what we think and what we feel is vibrating out into our world. Messages are being sent and messages are being received back. If your spouse has blocked your energetic communication, it's because you've done too much coming at the issues and problems with your fear, anxiety or need to control or fix things.

Some issues WILL be energetically altered, and you WILL see different results happen quickly, if not instantly, by simply utilizing the MasterMind requests in Session 1. Other issues in your marriage will take whatever time they need to be healed and transformed, but they WILL be healed and transformed. You WILL be spiritually moved to change your approach. You WILL be changed at depth, when you allow your spirit to work with your spouse’s spirit, and as you learn to get out of your own way and allow Infinite Intelligence to do the work!

The "Master Mind" may be defined as: "coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people for the attainment of a definite purpose."

So that you may better understand the intangible potentialities of the power available to you through a properly chosen MasterMind group, I want to offer a brief explanation here regarding the primary force of the MasterMind Principle.

I learned about MasterMinding almost two decades ago, right after my first marriage ended in divorce, and I found myself in total emotional, physical and financial burn out.

I immersed myself in redesigning my life by packing in new knowledge every day. One of the books I read was Napoleon Hill's, Think & Grow Rich, in which he explains the "connection to source energy - pure positive energy" by saying that one feature of MasterMinding is economic in nature and the other is psychic.

The economic feature is obvious. Economic advantages may be created by any person who surrounds himself with the advice, counsel and personal co-operation of a group of people who are willing to lend him wholehearted aid in a spirit of perfect harmony. Harmony and wholeheartedness are the key to this last statement. This form of cooperative alliance has been the basis of nearly every great fortune and rich life ever made, and being made today.

The psychic phase of the MasterMind "Connection" happens because: "No two minds ever come together without, thereby, creating a third invisible, intangible force which may be likened to a third mind."

Hill states, "the human mind is a form of energy, a part of it being spiritual in nature. When the minds of two people are coordinated in a spirit of harmony, the spiritual units of energy of each mind form an affinity, which constitutes the 'psychic' phase of the MasterMind."

He goes on to explain that the "Master Mind" is in play: When two or more people coordinate in a spirit of harmony and work toward a definite objective or purpose, they place themselves in position, through the alliance, to absorb power directly from the great storehouse of Infinite Intelligence.

Through his findings, Hill reports that no individual may have great success without availing himself of the "Master Mind." He goes on to say that as you define your monetary - and allow me to add, personal - goals and carry them out with persistence and intelligence, and use discrimination in the selection of your MasterMind group, your objective will have been halfway reached even before you begin to recognize it.

Let me make it perfectly clear that the power of MasterMinding for your marriage is not a means of gaining control over your spouse, so don't go there! In fact, it is quite the opposite. For example, in the Alcoholic Anonymous program, or with prayer partners, it is about asking to be changed at depth in order to make way - allow - new insights, new ideas and new decisions to flow through you and into your situation in powerful, life-affirming ways. This is most likely not what you've been doing. Even if you knew you could be doing things another way, but were too resistant to do it, this just means that you, by yourself, were not able to Make It Happen!

Continuing to think in the ways you've always been thinking - habitual thinking, and then doing that thing that you always do - you will not get different results!

We all have levels of emotional conditioning that are driving our negative behaviors and reactions, and most likely are the root causes ruining our marriages. And as hard as you've tried to control what's been going on, "trying hard" at what's hasn’t worked before is clearly not working, if you are on your way to, or already in, divorce court. Therefore, the key to this puzzle is that you simply cannot do it by yourself ...or you would have been able to do it by now.

In MasterMinding we are joining with other - preferably like-minded - individuals who want what we want: to easily and pleasurably create and attain a leveled-out playing field of happiness and fulfillment in our marriages. We need like-minded individuals who are willing to be partners for change, and also who are willing and open to "hearing" and altering limited thinking and belief systems, as they pop out of our mouths.

This is about more than whether or not we are being positive or negative. It's about remaining stuck in limited belief systems about what is possible with a spouse who currently appears to not be interested in giving us what we want.

We must first learn to look within, to our own limited thinking, before we can begin receiving what we'd prefer in our relationships. That's why you need a MasterMind partner. You've most likely become deaf to what comes out of your own mouth. You cannot hear, as readily as a MasterMind partner can, all of the beliefs and limitations you have imposed upon your life and your marriage.

With gentle connections, we learn to hear what it is we believe. With a MasterMind partner, we have the power to ask for and receive different and more wondrous outcomes.

In MasterMinding, we simply and mercifully acknowledge that we've tried our "ways" of doing things, and we acknowledge what has not been working and then ... and then ... we open ourselves up for new articulation of our desires to energetically come through us. It's not about trying harder. Did you read what I just wrote? I said, IT'S NOT ABOUT TRYING HARDER! It is about transformation through your innate power and authority to determine the VISION of the marriage you have always wanted, without any more arguing, fussing, fighting, nagging, blaming or placating!

It is my recommendation that you start MasterMinding with friends, individuals and couples, who also may want to work on their marriages.

To stop divorce, it is not necessary for your spouse to be MasterMinding with you initially ...that actually will come into the realm of possibilities down the road of this transformation.

This absolutely can be about one of you bringing the two of you together, as you MasterMind with others for specific relationship goals and preferences to begin to energetically come through you and into your marriage. When you change your mind, you change the energy in the relationship. And that's what we are going for here.

Now, if you have a willing spouse, then by all means, MasterMind together. Read and follow the rigorous work of this course together. This, of course, will yield new results in your marriage, and your experience together with this will be awesome. I will give you easy and specific guidelines to stimulate your MasterMinding sessions to yield new, desirable results. The two of you will receive new insights and love will start energetically affecting what's happening between you, and your marriage will be transformed into exactly what you prefer that it be.

If, right now, it's up to you to be the lead person in restoring your marriage, you simply need a friend - or two or three - who want to accomplish powerful, loving marriages, and then you commit to meeting weekly as you set your intentions in motion and it's through this act, that you will yield new results.

Let's Begin

There was a study conducted years ago, in which the pulling power of oxen was measured. They put the yoke on the first ox and measured the amount of weight he could pull, and then they did the same with the second ox. Finally, they yoked the two oxen together, and they found that together, they could pull much more than the sum of what each could pull alone.

You see, there are several initial reasons why people don't achieve their dreams, and it's all rather simple really. I think that you would agree with me that we all have the power to be, do and have all that our hearts desire. And while this is true, you've probably noticed how maybe you or others you know are not making consistent, measurable progress toward the specific intentions and dreams they say they want. Maybe you've noticed how difficult it is for you and the others to sustain a high level of focus, motivation and commitment toward those long term goals, dreams and relationship preferences?

For starters, 1) we are trying to make ourselves do it the hard way, the way that we may even hate, but, because we've been told so, we believe that it is the only route to a desired end result, and 2) we are trying to do it all alone.

In forming a MasterMind group and in utilizing the methods and doing the work I am recommending, you will immediately begin to experience the battery principle —the more minds you have linked together, the greater the power you can harness and the more resistance you can overcome.

What you'll come to understand about my system of MasterMinding is that it contradicts conventional "personal development" wisdom. After all, it's not often you hear someone tell you to, "Stop trying so hard!" Trying harder at what is already not working in your marriage will never be the long term solution which you are seeking, in any area of your life: money, kids, sex!

It isn't about exhausting yourself by working harder than anyone else, giving yourself constant pep talks, or spending all of your time charting your progress and evaluating your growth.

In utilizing the simple formula that I'm recommending, things will start happening for each person involved. You, and everyone in your MasterMind group, will learn how to come up with deliberate, intentions and requests that will create the life that is going to make you as happy and fulfilled as you can possibly imagine, and through this process you will then be able to allow the conditions that will bring that life to you.

Now, in thinking back to the Energy Illustration / Muscle Testing, you can understand that in MasterMinding CHOOSING TO CONNECT WITH SOURCE ENERGY IS CHOOSING WELL BEING.

Think about it for a moment. When you feel love, you feel soothed. Love is a healing, soothing balm. Love is the energy that heals and love is also what brings up that which needs to be healed, and that's why things can get messy. Anything unlike love, is what needs to be healed. Healing is felt in a state of well being. It is well being that we all strive to experience.

LOVE IS SOURCE ENERGY. Plain and simple. Love, along with Peace and Joy are the highest vibrational frequencies achievable in the universe, and therefore are the highest connection to source energy: Spirit, God, Infinite Intelligence, Jesus, Allah, Jehovah, Angels - whatever name you feel aligned with. Where well being is, your source is.

Connecting to source energy provides a most complete and gentle tool of restoration, appropriated through the MasterMind request of a spouse who longs to give life to their marriage.

As you experienced in the Energy Illustration / Muscle Testing exercise: when one person sends love, the arm / body / psyche is strengthened. When hate, bitterness, shame, resentment is the energy being sent, the arm / body / psyche is weakened.

When we are angry with our spouse, we are literally weakening our own body and psyche and, if our spouse is not maintaining a sense of personal well being or their connection to source energy, they are in a weakened state then, too.

From a weakened state, how can anybody function harmoniously in relationship?

By returning to love. That’s how. Again, and again, and again.

Love is one of the highest frequencies, that of source energy.

When we beam love into our relationship, then we are functioning from a place of strength and healing grace. Within our weakened state resides our broken places (consciousness and behavior,) which are ripe to be healed and therefore transformed. When there is a transformation of that which needs to be healed, there is no more need for fussing, arguing, fighting for what was wanted. When healing takes place, all is readily given, and we are now open to receive them.

According to David R. Hawkins Power Versus Force : The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior, he also utilizes Muscle Testing as a means to examine the energy of thought on the physiology of the body. He explains that, despite the revolutionary nature of these discoveries through the new science of Kinesiology, most people are willing to rationalize that something other than the "conscious mind" is at play, something whose function it is to oversee the well-being of the individual and manage the body's myriad complex subsystems. Hawkins writes:

That this revelation proceeds from a fortuitous connection between the physiology of consciousness, the function of the human nervous system and the physics of the universe is not surprising, when we remind ourselves that we are, after all, part of the universe in which every thing is connected to everything. All its secrets are thus, theoretically, at least available to us, if we know where and how to look.

Can man lift himself by his bootstraps? Why not? All he has to do is increase his buoyancy and he will effortlessly rise to a higher state. Force cannot accomplish that feat; power not only can, but constantly does.

Man thinks he lives by virtue of the forces he can control, but in fact he is governed by power from unrevealed sources, power over which he has no control. Because power is effortless, it goes unseen and unsuspected. Force is experienced throughout he senses; power can be recognized only through inner awareness. Man is immobilized in his present condition by his alignment with enormously powerful attractor energy patterns which he himself unconsciously sets in motion. Moment by moment he is suspended at this state of evolution, restrained by the energies of force, impelled by the energies of power

In his Map of Human Consciousness, Hawkins has been able to measure the affect of various vibrational frequencies on the body:

The lower the frequency/vibration/calibration, the more you will be weakened.
Anything under 200 will weaken you.
Anything above 250 will empower you.
Frequencies 1 - 1000

WEAKEN YOU:  (All are below 200)

Shame
Guilt
Apathy
Grief
Fear
Craving
Anger
Pride/scorn/hate

STRENGTHEN YOU:  (All above 250)

Neutrality/Trust 250
Willingness/Optimism 310
Acceptance/Forgiveness 400
Love/Reverence 500
Joy/Serenity 540
Peace/Bliss 600
Enlightenment 700 - 1000

So what we can conclude is that, when we function vibrationally in well being, we are in the upper frequency ranges. As we learn to shift into well being through the MasterMind Connection process, we will experience the attraction of experiences that are loving, peaceful, joyous more and more, because we are electing to return to this higher vibrational state, time and time again.

Through the MasterMind process, when we decide for the experiences we prefer, we are instantly moving into the higher vibrational frequencies. In maintaining a feeling of well being, we affect the energy of all those whose lives we touch.

In MasterMinding with another like-minded individual, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to repeatedly go to your internal power source, your inherent and right connection to source energy - love, peace, joy - and affect transformation in your own consciousness, and the ripple effect it will have on the consciousness of those whose lives you touch.

We will refer back to this simple fact again and again, because the true transformation of your marital experience lies in connecting to source energy as quickly as possible when things appear to be going sideways.

You have a bunch of beliefs about other people hurting you, not caring about what you want or need, and each and every time the experience comes up that mirrors what it is that you are believing, you get to decide differently. And with the help of your MasterMind partner, you will be able to more fully experience any changes in your intent that you are choosing to make in any given moment that you choose to get yourself some assistance and a divine connection: connecting to source energy.

MasterMinding will work phenomenally for you, if you work it. Your success with MasterMinding is totally and completely dependent on your willingness to do the work and to powerfully partner with people who are ready and willing to do the same. I said this was not about working harder at what has not worked in the past, but there is work to be done, in a new way.

If you initially attract someone to your MasterMind group who isn't ready or is not really interested in fulfilling similar intentions, desires, dreams you are interested in, fine - move on - because, and trust me on this: someone out there is interested! The right and perfect partners are waiting for you to call them in, who want what you want and are ready, willing and able to be powerful partners with you.

This course is specifically designed to shift your thinking about what you are no longer going to accept into your life and what you are going to replace it with. You will learn to stop settling for less than what you want because of fear and scarcity thinking.

The work that you will be doing will be with your thinking, believing and connecting to your inner voice and inner source energy. You will learn how to go where you've never gone before. To have a profound and powerful MasterMind experience on a consistent basis, you simply must be willing to do this, for you have the capacity within you to go to infinity and beyond with your stated intentions, desires and dreams ... if you choose.

You currently have a frame of reference for everything you now think is possible and what is not possible. This will need to change if you are to experience your life more abundantly than you are today. If you want things to get easier in your life: love, money, success, health, weight, etc., you must start thinking in those terms, and you must start rejecting anything that is unlike what you are setting as your intentions and your requests. That's the work I'm talking about.

LET ME BE CRYSTAL CLEAR WITH YOU ...

Your work is to stop doing what is not working! MasterMinding is NOT about continuing to try harder at what is already NOT working. It seriously does not, will not, matter how many people you currently know of who have been successful at what is NOT working for you.

In MasterMinding we call that a CLUE. If what you’ve been doing is not working, if you can't sustain the activity easily and consistently with a REASONABLE amount of elbow grease, then it's not the best way for you to continue to decide upon and pursue your relationship. How you are wired neurologically is unique to you, and how you are wired is specific to what will work best for you.

Through the power of each MasterMind session, you WILL find a way that works powerfully for you by setting an intention to have it reveal itself to you: creatively!

If you still have a lot of resistance to what you're doing, after you've given this your best shot in several MasterMinding sessions, and the door still remains closed to you, then you can MasterMinding simply for LOVE to make the perfect way. You need to find the love and get started sending it!

You are about to find out that, when you start asking different questions, you start getting new, creative solutions.

You are about to find that you are going to shift from old redundant thinking that may sound like, "How can I stop being the bitch /or jerk, the policer, confronter, the controller in this marriage" to:

If you are taking this course to learn how to attract love or harmony and more healing language to affect the people you are working with to relax their defenses and literally open the door to new, loving responses back to you, understand this: you can create a vision of a happy, satisfying marriage OR you can continue to vision and replay what is destroying your marriage. You can begin right here, right now thinking in terms of the best use of your mind, your time, your resources / people and your energy.

 Story

Our STORY CONTINUED.....

Only three days after Craig walked out, he had already met with a lawyer and filed for divorce. He had shut off all communications, with the exception of the one email telling me it was over, he had filed for divorce and not to bother emailing, or calling. Our divorce would be final in six months, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. He would not talk to me under any conditions. He had no intentions of being lured back because it was pointless, it was over, and I couldn't stop it.

In the early weeks of his leaving, I was caught between being dumbfounded and the throes of pain and anguish. I was on my knees in prayer more than I ever had been for anything else in my life. As a result of my praying, I would receive a warm embrace and be able to get to sleep, but every morning I would awake once again to the dread of having to face another day of the hell of loss.

But let me back up a few years. For several years leading up to this, I had been contracting with a national seminar group out of Kansas City. This was not my dream job, but it helped keep the wheels on our financial situation, so I could keep after building our dream of eventual financial independence through writing and speaking. But I wasn't writing. I was building a marketing plan to reach corporations. Our thinking was that if I could just get enough high pay corporate contracts, then I could have the time to write. A one-day contract could take care of all our monthly needs, leaving me with tons of time to write.

But getting to the place where I had my foot inside the corporate door, now that was the interesting part. So, I was developing and designing my speaking portfolio and had a website underway. Everything, and I do mean everything, took longer than what I ever expected. It's actually a good thing we don't know exactly what will be required of us when we begin to follow a dream, or else we would most likely talk ourselves out of it!

So, instead of working for the seminar company for just a year, it ended up being two and a half years. I hated going out on these trips, but when I weighed the pros and cons, it still was what I felt was the best I could do in the least amount of time. By the second year, I went to the director and told her I only wanted to be out one week a month. The requirement, however, was that in order to work for this company, you had to agree to two weeks a month.

After another year of that, I resigned. I was still struggling with my health. It was physically painful for me to do this work, and two weeks a month had really stressed my already difficult physical condition. Craig had his own painting and remodeling company that was doing well enough to keep us going. There were ebbs and flows in his business, and he did not want to grow it any large, and have a group of employees to be responsible for, when this was not our long term plan. Our long term plan was always built around attaining financial independence and freedom from my speaking and writing.

That next year, I worked on my marketing and taking care of my family. Then, we received word that my former husband had accepted a job in Redmond, Oregon, a little town three hours away. B.J. was devastated by his dad's moving so far away, and he cried and cried. I told him that we would pray for a creative solution which soothed him enough to get to sleep. The next morning upon waking, he announced that he had the solution: he would go live full time at his dads. He was only a fifth grader, and the creative solution was coming through him!

In looking at this little town, Craig and I found out it had an airport, which would allow me to fly out to my speaking engagements. Craig decided he was ready to let his painting and construction business go. The State of Oregon had passed a new law the prior year which forbade the removal of lead-based paint from houses without putting a covering over the whole thing, with ventilators and filters, etc. This had taken all of the profit out of his main business, and the remaining work was not supporting us, so he decided to sell his business and start driving long haul to bring in enough money to keep us afloat while we continued to build our dream. As we were preparing for the move, he went to truck driving school, and started driving before we even made the move.

Because I had not landed any kind of consistent corporate work, I went back to work for the seminar company, this time asking the unthinkable, that I be allowed to only work one week a month rather than the required two weeks a month. And, because I asked, and because I was a damn great speaker for them, and because they wanted to keep me, the director said that they would rather have me than lose me, so yes, they would see what they could do.

The second year, I started working with other speakers doing women's conferences, which were much more fun. I still hated having to get up at 6 am, be on the floor at 7 am for set up, go back and get dressed and eat, get back on the floor, greet people and kick things off at 9 am. We'd speak all day, break down the rooms, run out the door to our next airplane, fly to the next city, sometimes not getting in until very late at night and then back up the next morning at 6 am and so on for five days in a row. No breaks. Don't look up, just keep going. Woven into that was all of the logistics of travel. I was one of the speakers that got to do the Keynote for the opening of the day. So now I was getting Keynote experience. I knew all of this was good, but it was hard.

Some speakers who had a huge financial requirement, would be out sometimes 2, 3 and 4 weeks a month. My husband and I had scaled back when I was so sick, so that our bottom line was as lean as we could get it. That's why we could just make it with me going out on the road once a month, in combination with his work. I felt for the women who had huge mortgages and debt to meet every month. They needed to make $10,000 a month to keep going. I just needed to get home and write!

Then, the seminar company decided they would cut back our daily fees by $50. And, I would no longer be getting an extra $100 a day for Keynote. With $150 cut back off of my daily fee, we would no longer be meeting our bottom line, as lean as it was. Even with Craig's driving, we would not be able to meet our basic needs. My anxiety shot up, and now I was at a place that I needed to make stuff happen. I'd been talking about it, I'd been building my marketing, I had a website and still no corporate work on my calendar.

So, with substantial marketing tools in place, I decided I just needed to MasterMind for some! I felt that, in order for me to have the courage to resign again from the seminar company, I needed 6 months worth of corporate contracts on my calendar, and then I would feel that I was in the groove of manifesting work. I made that decision in January, and by March, I had 6 months worth of work on my calendar! I resigned the end of March, with only one more week of speaking for the seminar company to do in April, and I was done.

Craig walked out on me on April 4, and I had to go on the road that very next week. I was alone, and I was scared to death of now making it completely on my own, without his financial income.

I knew my only way out was through. Every morning I would get up and write affirmations for financial prosperity. I would write my gratitudes and appreciations. Every week, in our MasterMinding sessions, I would ask for the contracts to keep coming in. The phone would ring, and I would go speak.

Because my business had never made a profit, let alone had never supported me or my bottom line requirements financially, I felt Craig thought he was really, really killing me by leaving me. I really felt his rage and hatred of me during this time. I really felt his need to punish me and hurt me by leaving me. I felt he really, really wanted me to fail and be in a most desperate position of maybe even having to go get a job and "work" for a living, as his and my parents would have called it!

Why would he want to inflict this kind of pain? Because, I'd been the parent in our relationship. I had wanted him to make changes in how he treated me and in how he thought. We both knew the value of changing our thinking, and yet he would consistently lag back, refusing to come along, fighting for mediocrity. And then because I wanted us to be on the same page, he'd rebel, resist and take shots at me through verbal abuse and what felt like javelins to my heart. This was the way he was treated growing up. He was excluded from the family, because they believed that, when a child misbehaves, to get them to comply, you emotionally abandon them and withhold your love. All of his anger and pain and woundedness now came directly at me, for wanting him to change by adopting and practicing prosperity consciousness and teachings so we could, together, affect our world.

My greatest fear at that time, was growing beyond him and then having to divorce him. And so, that was what my attractor energy patterns put in motion for me to play out over, and over, and over, and over again.

My anger at him was always about his doing the minimum. And fighting me for every inch of that.

My upbringing had been quite verbally abusive, from a mother who was very unhappy with her life, and so I was her "job." Making me her problem child gave her something to work on. The only time I remember having a few months of relief was when she got substitute teaching work, and she was fulfilled and happy for those months. She forgot about me, and I was free to just be. Then, she came back home, because that's what she and my dad decided would be best. She was a farmers wife, and that was her work, that and raising my sister and me, the problem child.

So, Craig's verbal attacks on me were just like what I got from my mom growing up. My first husband was more like my dad, a womanizer and emotionally unavailable, and I never knew what else he was really thinking. Just watch out for his moods, and don't ever expect reason to be a part of any decision he was making about anything you wanted to do!

When Craig left me, I felt his anger and need to hurt me for being angry at him for being less than he could be. And so, we have our impossible situation!

How could we ever get out of this, when, he was no longer willing to even consider working on our issues?

Well, that's the whole point of our story. This was a very painful time. We were both tied into our childhood histories in such a big way, it appeared to be impossible to ever see our way through, let alone back to each other.

There was only one thing for me to do, and that was to stay connected to source energy. I prayed, I wrote statements of intentions each and every day. I never once journaled about "ain't it awful, look at what he's done and is doing to me."

Understand this, you must keep your focus on the future you want to create, without any idea of knowing how it will happen. If you wallow in self pity, you are literally manifesting more of the same. There's a reason why I gave you all scientific information so you can see that whatever you put out comes back, and most likely comes back instantly and immediately. You can not afford, at this point, to continue to do what you've always done and save your marriage from divorce!

You must take into account all that is underneath the surface. No matter how awful and painful the need to hurt another person is. If you can understand, you can forgive and let it go. Your primary thoughts at this time must be for healing and transformation if you are to stop this divorce.

You must let go. You must set your sights on the future you want.

I was backed into a corner of my own making somehow, and the only way out was through. I absolutely had to have my business support me now. I absolutely needed to replace my anger at my husband with more compassion than I had ever allowed myself to feel before.

I was intuitively lead one day to a box in the garage, that had all of Craig’s childhood memorabilia in it. As I sat down and slowly went through it, I psychically saw his entire childhood unfold before me, in the ‘baby book’ his mother had made and all his report cards from elementary school with the teachers’ comments. The pain, his pain, was now penetrating my heart, and I was blown away from what I saw and felt. He was just like the children in my classrooms that I always had fought for. How could I not have had compassion for him before now? Because he was an adult, and I didn't have any mercy for anything that had gone on before for him. He just needed to grow up and get with the program, or so I had fought for with him. He'd been bashed, shamed, neglected and admonished by his parents and his siblings. Because whatever the parents do, the siblings model and mirror.

I wept for him on that day. And I decided no matter what angry, hateful stuff he threw at me, either in his words, his emails, or his cutting me off from any and all communication, I would no longer fight back. I would allow him to launch anything he wanted at me, so he could get it all out. I had nothing more to lose and, possibly everything to gain from not pushing back against any attack from him that may come. No matter what, no matter how much whatever he said hurt, I would stay connected.

And come, it did. Only days after my full out experience with Craig's childhood memories, I received my first email from Craig ... it was about as rank and hateful and hurtful as it could be.

He had gone back to Portland and rented a room from a woman who hated me. She and I had once been friends. She was gay, so she was no threat, other than she was extremely toxic and when it came to me, she couldn't say enough negatively skewed things about me. And so now, Craig had his ally.

And that wasn't all. He also hooked back up with some male friends who I had given him an ultimatum to quit seeing during the early years of our marriage, because they were so toxic and negative. Every time he'd spend time with any one of them, he would come back more negative than when he left, he'd launch a verbal javelin at, me and we'd have another awful fight. So, I said, "them or me!"

He chose me, and things improved dramatically, by his eliminating them from our lives. But the underlying problem was that it was never his decision. It was mine. And until he could see and he could decide for himself, I now had to stay out of it. And I was out of it. He closed every possible door on me. I could no longer have any direct, verbal influence on his decision-making process. And that was perfect. Because if our marriage was ever to work, I could no longer be the policeman, the bitch, the person in charge and he simply had to step up and decide for himself, with me out of the way. And so it began. The road less traveled.

From afar, I knew the only thing I could offer was healing energy. I had to do the work of remaining unconditional in the love that I was sending vibrationally. It could not be a needy love, it could not be a guilt ridden love, it could not be a controlling love. It had to be love that was free of all outcomes. To love him as unconditionally as I did any child in my classroom, that was free love. I never needed anything back from any child I taught. I received totally from just loving them to wholeness. And that was my task at hand now, and it was not easy by any means. Because, tied into all of this was my life, my marriage, my future. So remaining unattached at this point was a huge piece of work.

What I want you to understand here is that my inner guidance lead me to that box that had been in our garage for years and years. I was being guided to extend compassion and mercy.

Now you may be thinking the exact opposite. But that's exactly the point of our story. If you continue to do what you've always done, fight back in some way, be the poor pathetic victim that you've always been, you will not heal or save your marriage. This IS how one of you brings the two of you back together again.

Your next thought may be, well, who's going to do this for you. If you are the one doing all of the loving and the giving, who's going to give this to you to heal your childhood wounds.

You can not heal another, without healing yourself.

Don't forget, we came together because our childhoods mirrored each other. I could not extend unconditional love to him and not feel it healing me, each moment that I chose it.

Furthermore, before I ever met Craig, I'd been the recipient of such healing from my MasterMind partners over the years. I had also done some of my own work with a counselor. But now would be the greatest healing of all. I needed to learn to give love freely and openly without trying to protect myself and keep myself safe somehow by fighting him back. This was new. I was changing myself by what I was choosing to give vibrationally.

And another thing about sending out the love vibes. When someone is separated from you, you don't get feedback. Meaning, days and days and days go by, and it is a matter of trust and a matter of believing and a matter of doing it and doing it and doing it, without getting to see any visual results. I did this work for the entire four months that we were estranged. It was not easy. I did sometimes think I was crazy for trying this. I did have moments of great despair, thinking I was totally off my rocker.

Every day was a long day. It just was. Every morning for the first month, I woke up to sheer panic and dread.

You may be all locked into your right to be the victim here. But something greater is trying to happen. The question is, "Will you allow it?"

I did not know what I was doing, and I did not know how to save my marriage. In staying connected to source energy, in bringing my heartfelt desires to reconcile into MasterMinding, and in being willing to follow the direction of my inner guidance in all things, sending the love vibe in the face of Craig's full-out barrage of hatred and intention to hurt me deeply, that's where the "how" of saving your marriage is then revealed to you.