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 In this Months Issue:
1. Getting Along ~ What's Your Communication Style?
2. 3 SuccessBytes for Matching & Mirroring
3. New! Color of Success TeleSeminar
4. 3 FREE MasterMinding Sessions!
- Mary Robinson Reynolds'
website homepage
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It is one of the most beautiful
compensations of this life
that no man can sincerely try to help another
without helping himself.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
- On a flight recently, a high school senior asked me where I was going. I
explained that I would be conducting a two-day retreat on Communication and Team Synergism. She
wanted to know more about the content, and at the conclusion of my Reader's Digest version, she
said:
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- "Oh, so you help grown-ups get along?!"
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- Her interpretation hit me right between my eyes. I had never thought of
it that way. As an educator for 15 years, my primary task was teaching children to GET ALONG so
we could get some work done! And now, as a consultant, author, and speaker for over a
decade, I have a similar objective, only with an adult audience. What the high-school senior
said seemed so simple, and yet, so profound. Adults too, need to re-visit how to get along so
that we can get the work done.
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- I think you go around with the insane delusion that people
like you! -
Woody Allen, Deconstructing Harry
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- Research indicates that of all people who are downsized, or just plain
fired -- only 20% lack technological know-how or competence. 80% are let go because they are not
able to deal with personal differences and emotional situations in the work environment.
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- Now, more than ever before, we need to know how to "get
along." The demands on our attention, energy and time are greater than ever before as
productivity expectations increase and technology speeds up our ability to get tasks done. A
project which used to take 10 weeks, now may be expected in 10 days! This, demands that people
communicate with an "instant" understanding between them, and also that they determine
how to commit and go forward. One common theme I see, as I work with teams in the corporate
environment, is the belief that we all have to agree before there can be forward movement! At
Intel, they have a motto:
Disagree and then Commit!
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- Their consensus is that it works... and it's still difficult. We are human after all, and we all tend to have a bit of arrogance in holding on to the notion that my
way is the only way. So what do we do about this? Demystify Compatibility! Compatibility, or
the lack of it, is not such a mystery. Both rapport and tension are rather predictable, once you
know what to look for.
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- Communication breakdown comes from not fully understanding other people.
We try to talk to other people in a language that we expect them to understand, when in fact
they are listening and speaking in another language; "their" language. With so many
ways to interpret other people's behavior, why not take time to remove some of the guesswork.
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- Connecting with Colors...
Your behavior is affected both by the situations you are in and your social style, which is the
result of many years of conditioning and development. No style is better than any other, yet you
enhance your relationship with others if you understand your motivations, strengths and
weaknesses, and those of people around you.
When I am brought in to corporations to work on Communication, Leadership and/or Team Synergism, the first thing we do is determine the Predominant Communication Styles of each participant. So today, let's go on an adventure! Go into my website at: http://www.maryrobinsonreynolds.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc? where you will see a link for the Personal Assessment Test. Understand that you will have a little bit of every color. What we are most interested in is where you dig in your heals during difficult encounters -- This is your Predominant Color. Go back to the Connecting with Colors link and invest some time in
looking at the descriptions of the different styles and the way they interact.
- So what happens, now that you know your type, and you work with a type
that polarizes you?
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- Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is.
Treat a person as if he were what he could be, and he
will become what he could and should be.
- --Goethe
- The technique that I bring into corporations in conjunction with the
analysis of predominant styles is called: Matching & Mirroring. Michael Grindler and David
Bandler first developed this technique in their creation of NeuroLinguistic Programming. The
intent of Matching & Mirroring is to understand that each communication style is
based on what a person values and how they think psychologically and neurologically. It has
nothing to do with greater than, less than caparisons. It's about the diversity of individual
"wiring" for thinking, learning, understanding and the value which that creates within
each of us.
3 SuccessBytes for
Matching & Mirroring
SuccessByte #1:
Get in the Driver's Seat
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- Take full responsibility for your communication with others. Don't
expect them to read your mind. Stop giving yourself excuses about "what's wrong with
them." Get to work building rapport with the people with whom you work. And you start by
honoring how they integrate information based on their style. Don't expect them to match your
style get your rear in gear and match theirs. SuccessByte
#2:
Get an Attitude Adjustment!
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- Attitude Alignment Judgement, condemnation
and arrogance all cause rifts, resentments and undercurrents, which are very destructive to the
culture of an organization. You can't afford to be resentful. And give up arrogance yours of
course! One form of arrogance is the tendency to believe that our way is best, and it causes
more alienation than any other factor. Rather than denying negative emotions, view them as
choices. You can choose to be angry in response to frustrating circumstances, or you can keep
your cool, assess the situations objectively and decide on a course of action to solve the
problem, perhaps by utilizing the Matching & Mirroring technique that will align you with
your associates instead of separating you from them further. Make a habit of looking for the
best in other people, and be generous with sincere praise and compliments. SuccessByte #3:
Get in Sync - Match & Mirror.
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- Match the other person's attitude, body language, voice tone and pace.
When dealing with a Red type, for instance, sit up, be succinct and talk results. With a Blue
type, soften up and relate, be descriptive and discuss how and why. With a Green type, be fast,
efficient and systematic. With a Yellow type, smile and connect personally, then be ready for a
burst of creativity. You can get more detail on this from www.MaryRobinsonReynolds.com
Possibly the most important work we will ever do in this life is that
which we do in relationships. There is nothing more important, because when we leave this world,
it will be the quality of the life we lived and how we made people feel when they were with us
that will be everlasting. Remember this: you can't fail at relationships, you only get results.
If you don't like the results you are getting, then IT'S TIME TO TRY SOMETHING NEW! The real
power behind identifying the colors, is learning to take the risk of aligning yourself with
people who are not like-minded with you. The intent of this information is to soften the hard
mental constructs that we often use to deal with each other and our differences. You can, at any
time you choose, actualize the Power of Successful Communication
- Please Know-YOU
ARE A SUCCESS!
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- MARY ROBINSON REYNOLDS
Proudly Presents
LIVE INTERACTIVE TELEPHONE CONFERENCES
- Tired of the waiting game? Waiting for that important seminar to come to
your area. Waiting for new knowledge to find its way through your hectic schedule (and/or your
employees), and move your production to the next level. This can be a discouraging and losing
game. Up to this point your only choice was to "wait it out" or travel to the nearest
conference thereby incurring major expenses such as airlines, rental cars, hotels, childcare and
time off work for you and/or your employees.
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- Today, Telephone Conferencing makes it possible to receive information
that will shift your perspective from Mary without leaving your office. Simply send out a
broadcast fax or e-mail to your key people (or to the whole company!) to announce the scheduled
TeleSeminar Conference. Then on the scheduled day just pick up the phone in the comfort of your
own home, office or conference room and join with participants throughout the nation as Mary
delivers a power-packed 1-hour seminar on her most often requested topics:
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- SEPTEMBER - NOVEMBER 1999
Connecting with Colors ~ Predominant Communication Styles:
Discover the four basic business personality styles and how they can lead you to success and
getting more of what you want. Tuesday, October 12, 1999 11:00 a.m. - 12:00
p.m. Pacific Time PRICE: $20 per line.
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- Mastering Change: How the 5 Pillars for becoming a Turnaround
Specialist turn the appearance of failure and adversity into SUCCESS. Wednesday, October 27,
1999 11: 00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. Pacific Time PRICE: $20 per line.
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- Innovative Thinking: The key to making your career a success is
your ability to tap into the creative mechanism of your mind with Mary's 3 Risk Requirement. Wednesday,
November 3, 1999 11: 00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. Pacific Time PRICE: $20 per line.
- The waiting game is over. It's your move.
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- Registration: MarySpeaks(at)aol.com
Each conference is limited to 30 participants and they do fill up, so register early!
Registration deadline: 48 hours prior to program. Mastercard and Visa accepted.
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- PLUS 3 FREE TeleSeminar MasterMinding Sessions! Take time to
write out your goals then come to the phone and experience the power of MasterMinding with
others. To learn more about MasterMinding, go to 'Trainings & Seminars' at my website. You
will need to pre-register for these as well. Dates: Tuesdays- October 5, 26 and November
2 & 9 at 11:00 a.m. Pacific Time.
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- INTRODUCTORY OFFER!
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- For over a decade I have been providing programs on how to develop
Leadership and Team Synergism to dramatically increase productivity by reducing communication
stressers. With Connecting with Colors, I simplify the complex, so that the different
communication styles will "stick" in the memory and be integrated immediately. Every
audience tells me it is one of the most informative and immediately useable tools they have seen
in years.
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- E-mail from a recent participant of a live seminar:
-----Original Message-----
From: Grass, Mary Ann
Sent: Monday, August 30, 1999 8:06 AM
To: Varney, Victor; Margate, Judy
cc: MarySpeaks(at)aol.com
Subject: Incredible Training - THANKS
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- Victor & Judy: I cannot thank you enough for Thursday's training
with Mary Robinson Reynolds! I can honestly say that this was the best training class that I
have had while at Intel. The one-on-one attention that Mary provided was invaluable. It was
excellent to be reminded of everyone's working styles and just being with such an awesome group
of ladies. Again, thanks for this training, I know that you'll see positive results!
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- Mary Ann, Senior Administrative Assistant
- Internet Engineering, Intel Corporation
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- P.S. For anyone who sends me a written testimonial about how they
used and benefited from Connecting with Colors, I will send them a free copy of my book, You
Are A Success! -61 Strategies for Developing Success ($15 retail value).
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- And Please Know-YOU ARE A SUCCESS!
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- Opportunity
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- Earn Big Referral Commissions:
- If you are interested in generating a side income by bringing Mary's
message (speaking or store products) to organizations in your profession or industry, we can
explain the easy steps by phone. Just contact us at MarySpeaks(at)aol.com with the phone number and best time(s) to reach you between 9AM and 5PM Pacific
Coast Time.
