Dear Difference Maker,
Maybe you are like me in that it seems that every time I turn on my TV, or receive the latest news release, I see at least one example of people hurting one another. When I think of bullying behavior I think of....
Geico's new TV commercial where the older male therapist verbally accosts his patient on the couch, then throws a Kleenex box at him, and how that's supposed to be funny but only shows us all how much further we have to go yet;
The more than 34,000 people that die by suicide each year; of all American teens who die by their own hand, 30 percent are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning; and suicide is the second leading cause of death on college campuses;
ABC's Primetime "What Would You Do?" TV show, where they show what people actually do, and don't do, when faced with adverse public situations. They show how people either attack back or avoid what's happening. They film as long as it takes until they get a person who will actually step up and be powerfully, humanely effective in the situation;
The high school principal who wrote me, proudly saying that there aren't any bullies in his school, because he IS the bully. (Thus, teaching kids exactly how to be bigger bullies as they grow up!) His justification being that his mother was a pushover, so when he got into education he found that ALL of the successful teachers in his nationally renowned inner-city, private, low-income school were authoritative, old-school, using the "black parenting style" approach, and that this was the ONLY way to work with these kids.
Just because you don't know "how" to do something doesn't mean it can't be done giving you the best long-term results to heal generational legacies of pain!
I, along with you, have experienced the feeling of fear and powerlessness when it comes to being faced with circumstances that I know, if I was to get involved and/ or to intervene, will mean the possibility of harsh, hurtful backlash and upset.
Many people confuse LOVE with abuse.
I was raised in the old-school, "black parenting style" as the above mentioned principal called it (only my parents weren't black) rigid, hard-handed, verbally and attitudinally abusive, harsh-minded approach to "teaching me a lesson" I'd never forget; and still, I was strong-willed enough to promise myself repeatedly growing up that I would never treat my children - or any child for that matter - the way I had been treated. And I can say honestly, that when those opportunities came to do it the way my parents did, I made a conscious choice each and every time to do it a different, compassionate way ...and it worked! Not only with my children but with the thousands of tweens, teens and adults ...and yes even belligerent, oppositional children and adults, from inner city, low income, multi-cultural to middle-class and extremely wealthy.
Many people misunderstand that being humane, approaching situations compassionately and as a peaceful presence, does not mean you are no longer holding a position of authority. Quite the opposite. Authority is earned by how empoweringly you treat people. Attitudinally treat them like they can do something or show up in a certain way, and they will! Treat them with disdain, disapproval, skepticism, condemnation, or shame, and they will become even bigger bullies, thanks to your very specific teaching methods. We teach people how to treat us!
Many people have not yet learned that you are actually more powerful, the second you reach into the "heart" of that bully behavior and start turning it around.
It's just a skill and anyone can learn how!
Having been on the receiving end of abuse and bullying, I know what it takes internally to come up over life's opportunities to call them ALL a Success.
I know how to meet situations powerfully and peacefully, and it is my greatest passion to share this information with you, so you can make the difference you are being pulled to make.
Victim No More: Diffusing Bully Behaviors UClick&Play PowerPointPresentation Slide Show training is not your typical class, because we will be starting with the POWER of your attitudinal energy and will work our way forward from there.
I'm NOT going to give you the same-old stuff that so many experts say you should say and do!
We will NOT be starting with what you can "do" ...we will be starting with what to THINK.
We're making this harder than it needs to be for ourselves and for everyone we are trying to FIX or control!
|Mary Robinson Reynolds' Credentials and Experience
Professional: Masters in Educational Psychology, Counseling & Development. Thirty years of measurable success with at-risk youth, families and working professionals. Presented to twenty thousand people in culturally rich and diverse areas of the country; from old-school to new-school; from inner city to urban to the ‘burbs to the heartland audiences.
Personal: Mary has had experience with being on the receiving end of psychological, emotional, physical and culturally acceptable abuse. Utilizing the very practices and principles she now teaches to transform her life and the lives of those who were skilled at being incredibly hurtful and harmful.
|For Business Professionals
Never underestimate the depth and breadth of the wisdom that comes with learning to do things differently than a culture may dictate. At the heart of each individual is the desire of peace, love, harmony and good will. Our only job in life is to call out the best within each and every one of us.
NOW IS the time to heal the generational legacies of pain.
Please join Mary and learn how you can make the biggest, most effective, long-term difference in the lives of those on both ends of the spectrum.